Time to Breathe

Monday, April 14, 2008


Honestly...

I need a break desperately.

Its funny how even though I'm in the midst of a billion things going on right now, I am still able to blog, eh?

I guess this is just another way to let out the stress.

Let out your problems; and you'll feel lighter, right?

SIGH...
(really, I just sighed)

First, before I continue on, let me warn you that this is going to be a long, dreary post so unless you want to share your sympathy on me or live off my frustration/distress/atrabiliousness so you might feel better knowing your life right now sucks less than mine or you're just plain bored out of your mind...

Here goes.

How would you feel if you had all these things to go through at just one point in your life:

#1 You have 2 presentations (none of it memorized and one still undergoing construction at this very moment!... Yes, yes, WHAT am I doing blogging right? Someone... please, smack me) and a puppet show performance all lined up back-to-back the very next day! (yes, folks, tomorrow... TO-MOR-ROW)

#2 Due to the annoying IELTS Center which took a zillion years to send in my results to my choice of University in Canada, there was a horrible delay in receiving my Offer Letter in which I need to apply for my Visa, hence now, only 2 weeks away from my departure date, I am STILL waiting for my Visa to be approved! (is it me or do I have a knack at writing tremendously long sentences?)

#3 My finals are in exactly one week and I haven't had time to breathe let alone study (since I'm busy trying to prepare for the darn presentations and performance which decided to all pile up themselves in a single day!) which means I have only less than a week to study ALL my syllabus?!?!

#4
And what about spending good quality time with the people that I am NOT going to SEE for the next 12 MONTHS??!! Don't I need some time for THAT?? And you might think we can still chat on the phone, go on Skype for call conference etc etc... but when you consider the time difference which is awkwardly different, it makes synchronizing time to catch up very difficult to do!! Sobbb!

#5 But don't get me wrong though, I do want to go, very much indeed. I mean, I swear, I WANT to feel excited, I WANT to be all thrilled and exhilarated and pumped up and all but how.. how can I? With all these things taunting my poor fragile mind and nagging at my nerves!

#6 (Ho, yes. There' more) I just thought about ANOTHER thing that I almost forgot that's really getting to me too. I'm currently in the midst of making a nice scrap book for Andrew but BY GOSH!! Here's some advice: don't ever dare take TOO many pictures. Maybe, like, one for each occasion or something. I have like, a zillion, billion, ga-trillion pictures to choose from and sort out and edit and print and compiled into an album that it's possibly creating one of the largest headaches ever!!!

#7 And finally, on top of everything I've just mentioned, I have endured the worst thing that a person my age can possibly endure. I lost a friend.

So how would you feel being in my shoes?

Well, I honestly feel so many mixed feelings at once that I kinda feel rather...

Numb.

Maybe that's why I'm here. That's why I'm just blogging. I mean, I know I will eventually burn the midnight oil so what's 15 minutes of blogging, right?

As a matter of fact, I do have events to blog about but at this point in time, but I just don't have the energy to do just that. I suppose once this hectic time is over, I'll start properly blogging again.

To be honest, after tomorrow, I would probably feel a lot more weight lifted off.

But I probably won't sleep peacefully until I strike off everything that's on my list.

#7 is gonne be really, awful tough but... Well, I'll tackle that day by day somehow.

Okay, I think I'd better stop right here.

I think I'll go catch "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" which is on in 10 minutes.

That show cracks me up... probably make me feel a little bit better.

Hope you all had a better day to speak off and to all, a very goodnight.

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6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous says..

visa problems. check. no time spent with loved ones. check. lost a friend. check. rushing off to foreign land. check. can relate =p gets better though......good luck!!!

Monday, April 14, 2008  
Anonymous David says..

I can't imagine, but I would like to believe that in time, turmoil changes into bad memories, and bad memories are kept aside for the odd day.

Sorry for your loss. There's that "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader" episode with the dumb blonde on youtube that never fails to put a smile on my face.

Hope you hold it all together.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008  
Anonymous kin says..

Behind every source of dark shadows, there is always light.

Cheer up, Nat!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008  
Blogger UncleJosh says..

breaks and "know how to take breaks" are very essential to living a well balanced life... ^_^

all the best in what you've planned out and take carez...

like the phrase you put in your picture... but... i doubt if i would ever get nobler... ^_^

Tuesday, April 15, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous says..

Hey, you have been strong and optimistic all these while. You've been through alot and everyone might be questioning why things just had to happen but know that God took him for a reason. God had better plans for him and we know that he is in a better place than us now. Yes he may be gone but know that he is in a place we long to go. Heaven is real. And so is God. Sometimes we just can't hold on to things in life until we leave the world behind. There are times when we have to release and give others a chance to leave. I totally understand the fact that you can't focus but note that we can't do anything but to move on. I'm sure he will tell us to do so if he had the chance. I've seen andrew in my church and he's a good christian. God loves him and God won't do anything to hurt his children. God Bless.

Thursday, April 17, 2008  
Anonymous mello says..

that show cracks me up too . [=

Friday, April 18, 2008  

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Name: Miss Wishful
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia

"Memories are a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, and the things you never want to lose."







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